Since I’m home for the summer, I have lots of time to binge watch TV shows. One thing I’ve noticed a lot of is that there are many people who are insecure and even embarrassed about their appearance.
Sometimes self image issues grow from bullying or being mistreated from a young age.
Other times, these issues can come from relationships where one person is abused in a way that they begin to feel that these harsh and untrue words are true about themselves.
It is easy to begin to feel that the ugly words are true about yourself. I can personally attest to this as I allowed someone who was very toxic to almost rule my life. My relationships with family and friends drastically changed.
Being that I allowed someone to do this to me from a very young age, I never really knew what it meant to love someone that I was in a relationship with. I mean truly be in LOVE.
Yes, I thought I loved and was in love, but really you don’t know what love is until you actually find it. And in that quest, you could potentially think you’ve found it many times, but I promise, when its time, you will know.
Now I’m no supermodel. I have many insecurities that started from a young age. Being in a situation where someone tells you that you will never be loved if you leave can really make you start to question whether or not those words are actually true. And more often than not, you will begin to believe it after you’ve heard it so much.
The truth is that you are not the problem. Your abuser likely has many insecurities as well and although you did not prey on those insecurities, and maybe even feel like you love them, its important to know that you can love or care for someone and not put yourself through their hell.
It is not your responsibility to help someone who doesn’t want or deserve your help. It isn’t easy letting go but I promise it is so worth it!
I was in a situation where alcohol and drugs were involved along with physical and verbal abuse…. Remember that time I was told and almost thought that no one would ever love me….. Fast forward to the present, I am married and have an amazing spouse who loves me for all I am; including my imperfections. I don’t have to hide anything. In fact, I’ve shared way more than I thought I’d ever share with anybody. And on that note of thinking you’re in love, I can honestly say I have NEVER been in love until now. Well, more like 5 years ago when I met my spouse.
I feel confident being myself around my spouse. I’m constantly told how much I am loved, but more importantly I am shown how much I am loved. Life isn’t easy, but we find a way to get through every obstacle that has been thrown our way. We are very involved with our families. Together we make time to visit all sides of the family when possible because we know how important it is to each of us.
Our life isn’t perfect and we don’t compare ourselves to other couples. We are content with what we have and how we handle our obstacles.
The most important fact I want to make clear is that there is light at the end of the tunnel and life can get better. You just need to realize that you are worth it and you are good enough.
Don’t stop looking until you find that person who makes you feel your worth every day.